Why I Stopped Blogging…the REAL truth

nikki-sharp
14 Sep 2017

It’s funny because as I sit here writing this and finally blogging, there have been so many times throughout the past year that I have wanted to share what’s going on in my life. I’ve wanted to post new recipes I’ve created, and I have had the desire to provide you with more fun content. And yet, I find myself unable to. It has taken me a while to really understand why I haven’t been blogging, which is a huge passion, and where the lack of passion has gone. But I have finally realized what it is, which is why it’s now time to start sharing.

So…keep reading to find out why I stopped blogging…the REAL truth

In 2014 I was in full blogger mode, sharing my recipes, workout tips, writing e-books and motivating you all (and myself) with my Instagram account. As things grew and the numbers got larger on IG so did the inevitable amount of companies wanting to work with me. It was pretty fun and I highly enjoyed it. But then something happened. Instagram became highly oversaturated and it was all about your numbers and what your account was deemed as, in terms of engagement and followers. The algorithms changed. People stopped seeing your account. And so the work you put into everything suddenly was not being seen by people who have chosen to follow you. Everyone was trying to become famous and many were succeeding. Showing sexy body pictures made you rise to the top, but sharing things on how to improve your health made your account grow at a slow, turtle-like pace. But more on this later…

nikki-sharp

Since starting my brand I have wanted to become well-known for making health more sexy and approachable. I started a YouTube channel, made videos I was proud of, and did blog posts that I loved. I turned my detox into an app, which became a best-seller on the app store and I was over the moon. I released it as a book with Random House last year which I was unbelievably proud of. Since then, I have done business and branding consultations, run people’s social media accounts for them, and done health coaching along the way to help others. I was passionate about every single one of these things.

But the passion disappeared.

So going back to the algorithms changing, people not seeing my account, not reading the blog as much and of course my value getting tied up into my social numbers (see this post for more details), I inevitably stopped enjoying it all. I felt like I was doing things and putting content out to be ‘liked’ and to get higher numbers (i.e. followers, comments, etc) and forgot why I started sharing in the first place. I got caught up in wanting to be famous because I thought I would get more work, better deals, etc from it. I forgot that building a brand starts from community. Fame became the name of the game and I wanted it. But I was so far from it because my account stopped growing. My value went low, my passion died, and I thought why am I even doing this anymore when I’m not making money, other people’s accounts are growing mine isn’t, and no one seems to care what I post. So why do it?…

I started a blog when I was modeling to share my travels and what it was like to be a model. I created a blog for my photography while traveling simultaneously. I then made a food blog where I shared recipes as I taught myself about clean eating. This morphed into a lifestyle blog, where I now share (or well, was sharing) all things health, wellness, fashion and everything I’m passionate about. But most of you don’t even know that I have all these things. People are still shocked to find out I have a YT channel, or have done other blogs. Many still don’t know I have an app or book.

nikki-sharp-5-day-detox

My Youtube channel brought me joy. Until it didn’t anymore. My blog made me excited to write, until I couldn’t get myself to sit in front of my computer. I got tired of only caring how many people were reading my blog posts, if I should make money from ads on my site (I chose not to), and and why I spent so much money on a website I don’t even love.

So all of this is to say that I got confused, lost my joy of what I was doing, and so I stopped. I stopped blogging, I stopped the photography, and I stopped making videos. This doesn’t change the fact that I WANTED to! I have been brimming with ideas on what I want to do and share, yet just have not been able to get myself to do them.

Add on to this the normal happenings of life, where I wasn’t making money so couldn’t pay rent (more on this later, because what you see online doesn’t always mean that you are as successful as people think I believe it’s important to break this wall down and show the truth!), my beloved cat died, and I felt like I was doing a lot of things in this world alone. I didn’t have my community anymore, instead I had led myself to working by myself instead of relying on my community for guidance. The bigger my brand grew, the less connected I was to the very people I started writing my blog for.

Until today. Today, this morning specifically, after being  jet lagged from just arriving back from Europe, I decided to sit at my computer and write. It’s 7am and I am sitting on my balcony, jet lagged as hell and for the first time in a while sharing my truth. I am not filtering this, I am not rewriting it. I am letting the words flow out like they used to. It might not make sense. But I have realized a few key things about the loss of passion and where it leads me.

  1. When we care only about a number, a follower, how many comments we get or if people even see our work it can make us wonder why the F we are doing it. This is normal. Passion is needed to do a job, but feeling your worth in your work is also needed. If people don’t see if then you can lose the passion.
  2. The solution to the problem above? Make sure you are not putting all your eggs in one basket and trying to become Insta famous. This doesn’t bring you happiness. What does bring you happiness is connecting with people OUTSIDE of the digital world. Going back to having real conversations, connecting with people face to face. Listening to their stories and sharing yours.
  3. If I do not want to write my blog, then so be it, but stop judging and critiquing myself for it. Just like I get my passion from sharing, if I don’t feel the passion to write in that moment, then let it go, stop the judgement and do what makes you happy.
  4. Life ebbs and flows and just because i took a (rather long) hiatus from writing, doesn’t mean I won’t come back to it. I love what I do and what I share and have realized the next thing…
  5. Sharing your AUTHENTICITY is the only thing that matters. I have not been sharing things in my personal life, the changes in my business, or what changes I’ve learned as a person (along with WHY i even care about health in the first place) and by keeping your truth blocked, you will inevitably burn out.

nikki-sharp-bloggingI’ve learned a lot more and truthfully I hope to continue writing. I plan on getting deeper and sharing more. I’d like to get back to blogging a few days a week. Talking about the good, the bad, the life lessons, the things I love and so much more. From some recent experiences I learned that working hard, day after day, will get your further than trying to get fame overnight. One takes a hell of a lot longer and you will want to quit most days, but if you are doing something because you believe in it, then it WILL be worth it in the end.

So with that, if you are still reading to the end here then I am a tad impressed but also grateful.

I’d love to know your thoughts on passion and if you have felt the same thing or had similar experiences to mine in regards to losing your passion or life getting in the way. This blog is me opening up and I would love to connect with you and hear YOUR story below!

Lots of love,

n

26 Responses

  1. Allison says:

    Hey girl! I am no where near insta famous, but I have had thoughts exactly like yours. It’s easy to compare and want more and more. To want what others seem to have but we all know life is real and raw, not all butterflies and rainbows even though that’s the only stuff we post. I’m glad you shared this harsh social media fact because we need more real and more raw. We can’t wear masks anymore. With my own experience, I find myself wanting to use social media as a fitness and a mental health encouragement but then if I talk about my depression others will know my weakness and a judgement will occur whether positive or negative. But, I need to ignore that and think about the people I would HELP by putting it all out in the open and letting someone in the depths know that they aren’t alone. But I have been there in my past.

    I never respond to people I don’t know on here, but I have been a follower of yours for a while and I loved your vegan recipes and positive outlook on life. So keep doing you! And know that there are people that will read this that will gain even more respect for you and what you stand for. God bless and keep on keeping on!

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi Allison, thanks for your comment! Using social as a tool to share and inspire is definitely the way to go but I totally understand sharing our ‘weaknesses’ lead to judgment (in our own minds!). I’ve always been under the impression of sharing the things I’ve gone through will help others to overcome them and not feel so alone. But yes, social can be challenging because we compare and lose sight of the fact of trying to help!

      Thank you for being a follower for so long. Means a lot my dear! xoxox

  2. Candice says:

    Hi Nikki

    Thank you for opening up it was so wonderful to read your story. I have felt a lot the same. I am very lucky I work on a yacht and get to travel. Material wise I have a lot for a young woman . I also love to write, at the beginning of the season on the yacht I started a blog but once the season started and I continued to work I lost my passion to write. I write in my journal I’ve had one each year for the past 8 years yet I’ve found I can’t write anything and have no desire to write. I have recently started a relationship in the last year and a half and I feel maybe I’ve invested a lot more into the relationship and forgotten about me a little. A bit like being side tracked with social media. I’m hoping with enough meditation and will power I will get it all back because I plan to write a beautiful book. I suppose we can never predict the shifts in our lives but noticing the change is the trick because then we can adapt. Really enjoyed your post it filled me up with hope that life is endlessly shifting it’s not out to get us hahaha. Have a lovely day 🌺

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi Candice, thank you for the comment here! I totally feel you in regards to ‘have a lot for a young woman’… and also where it led you on losing passion. What were you writing about? I would definitely be interested to read your blog in the eyes of someone working on yachts and living that life! XOXO

      • Candice says:

        I love to write about the adventures I go on. I have a list of things in my life I want to do and I’ve never filed to do them it’s been so wonderful. My first diary was when I was 18 when I left home from South Africa to go to Australia and become a cowgirl and I did.after that I did many more things I like to write about things I learn in life , the ups and downs🌺 My blog page is called: thehumanexperience9.wordpress.com .ive only done one entry which is not impressive at all but after speaking to you I feel I want to start again. Thank you Nikki xxx

        • nikki sharp says:

          Thank you for sharing the blog! I’d love to keep reading it! I would suggest really thinking about what you want to share. When I modeled (you can see the website above as i tagged it) i posted pictures and described my day. made people feel like they were living in another country with me and going through what i went through. i would suggest the same for you with photos and things you do and experience. you have a fascinating story! xox

          • Candice says:

            That is a wonderful idea. I think that is a great starting point because I have endless things to talk about and take pictures of . Thank you son much Nikki xxx

  3. RedSportsCar says:

    Wonderful post, thank you so much for sharing such honesty. I suspect that a lot of people who have never done it, would never realize the potential ‘100% stress’ potential inherent in being a ‘lifestyle blogger.’ They see the trips, the beautiful photography, the lighting, the glamour… they don’t see the rent being short. They don’t see the loneliness that can come from constant travel. The lack of an ‘off button’ a lot of times. How much can you share before a sponsor (or potential sponsor) thinks “Eh, too much, we don’t want flawed actual HUMANS here!!”
    More and more, I am trying to practice gratefulness and being happy when business/life goals and passion align. It may be fleeting and not occur everyday, but when it does, enjoy it.
    Your personality comes through in your writing, and you’re always a great read. I see the ‘center of you’ in pics when you’re at your folks’ place and gazing out at those vistas… just keep that as a part of you and you’ll always know the way home.

    • nikki sharp says:

      haha yes, the ‘life’ as it’s shown is amazing but the reality behind it is never so glamorous, glad you can see what it’s really like. i appreciate you and your comment, and for sharing what you wrote with me. <3 xo

  4. Lisa says:

    I was wondering as many of your followers and I am happy and admire you, that you took this big step instead of following the flow. It takes a lot of courage and I always looked up to you for your honesty and motivation you put out since I started following you in 2014. I wish all the best for you, you’re a true inspiration. Thank you for this Nikki ❤️

  5. Jessica says:

    I’ve had a similar break from blogging. Some overlap with your reasons, but also a bunch unique to me. I have yet to articulate it in a newsletter or blog :)

    • nikki sharp says:

      I’d love to hear why from your end! I def didn’t articulate EVERYTHING here as that would take too long lol. If i can get myself to blog more i’ll def share more, because it’s been an interesting ride! xoxox

  6. Chelsea says:

    This was a wonderful read. Not because it was written to a T or was awe-ing me with education. But I admire how it professed your passion to just be who you are. Such as your Snapchats or Facebook posts earlier this year…they were just honest. I think honesty goes a lot further than number-driven posts. Keep it up Nikki!

  7. Diane Carlson says:

    I have been a fiber/color worker for over 50 years. There have been months/years when I haven’t wanted to go near another skein of yarn, spinning wheel (2 years), etc.. But, there does come a time, always has, when I start thinking of a color when I first wake in the morning and I know that I somehow have to work with it, soon. I see my relationship with my Passion the same as the shore and the ocean. There are times when the ocean recedes. But, it does always come back and you just need to be ready for it when it does.

    Thanks for a great post. My own website/blog, etsy shop, etc. have lied dormant for a very very long time. Someday soon, one or all may come back.

  8. Regina says:

    I am deeply moved but your post, it actually gave me goose bumps. I love your authenticity. You are an inspiration to many of us. I started following you because you were one of the first instagramers that inspired me to follow a healthy path, with your simple and healthy food recipes and your aspirational pictures. Thanks to your ebooks I actually was introduced for the first time to healthy eating: lemon water in the mornings, my first green smoothies and the use of coconut oil… things that are now part of my routine. Thanks to you, after having a baby, I lost a lot of weight and felt better (and why not admit it, sexier, than ever). But the reason I’ve been following you with more enthusiasm than other bloggers/instagramers over the years is not that, the reason is that you are brave enough to share with us the other side of the story, your vulnerability, and that makes you more human and relatable, and connects with ‘regular’/unknown individuals like me. I am not anyone to give advice, but I would say: “Let it flow”, allow yourself to show up as you are, not as any brand or algorithm wants you to be. I think that by being authentic is how we’ll succeed, we should follow our instincts, forget what others do or chase, and if an algorithm or company doesn’t like it, then so be it, because only by following our heart and passion we will be able to find our true path, and that is the real success, the one that gives us inner peace and real happiness. xxx

    • nikki sharp says:

      Thank you so much my dear! That means so much to me. I’m so happy that my advice has made a positive change in your life, as that’s the real reason I do what I do…to be able to inspire and help others! Thank you for the feedback, comment and sharing why you follow me! xoxox

  9. Casey Jenner says:

    Hi Nikki,
    I’ve followed you for years and I really think you cut yourself short. You’ve done so many amazing things and influenced so many lives in such a positive way. I’ve enjoyed following your journey; from your first detox e-book to your Instagram, your YouTube, your app and your book! Don’t focus on what you haven’t done, focus on what our have done – you’re so, so amazing!! Love and hugs x

    • nikki sharp says:

      Thank you Casey, that’s so sweet. I think we tend to all sell ourselves short haha! Human nature. But thank you for your kind kind words! XOXO

  10. Shannon says:

    lots of support and kudos to you for opening up and sharing and being so vulnerable. where traveling can be everything you’ve wanted in life, it can be a very lonely experience. mixing that with social media which can feel suffocating, the only thing left to do is to re-evaluate and re-balance.

    after joining the military I stopped writing completely. my schedule did a complete 180 and i lost inspiration and passion for a lot of things. you’re not alone in your struggles- but with every life change comes a life lesson, and the ones who want to hear it will stick around. keep growing, learning, sharing and inspiring. you’ll attract the right people by staying true to yourself. we’re all cheering for you.

    xo

    • nikki sharp says:

      thank you for serving in the military first off, i’m full of gratitude! second, i agree with everything you are commenting on! life lessons in everything we do. thank you for your words shannon! xoxo

  11. Cecilia Ritzen says:

    Thank you for sharing this! I started following your IG account 3 (!!) years ago and did the 5 day detox several times at the time :) It was a key into me becoming a healthier human being. I’ve always been a silent follower, but this post really touched me; I just want you to know that you have always been inspiring. I agree though that the social media climate is tougher. You’re SO strong for opening up like this and I admire that.
    Warm greetings from Sweden

    • nikki sharp says:

      Hi Cecilia! That’s amazing to hear you have been following me so long and did the detox way back when. Love it! Thank you for commenting though. I love all followers, but I really appreciate ones that talk back to me so I don’t feel like I’m sharing with people who don’t care, if that makes sense? haha. I’d love to hear more from you!!! xoxox

  12. Nick Matika says:

    NIkki, this is so authentic!! I’m not insta famous but have built a large following based on my foundation… making a difference in people’s lives in any way I can. I realized that I’ve lost my way spending lots of time on instagram. What built my business, brand and massive amounts of relationships all over the world was being real, looking people in the eyes and genuinely being interested in what their up too in all areas of life. I relate a lot to what your saying about being lost, and the only thing for me to do is go back to the basics of what truly makes me happy! I.E. being outdoors, exercising, and taking each day and giving it everything I got! I’m shaking things up with a move to Colorado me following my heart. Thanks again for the illumination on what truly matters and following the heart!!

    Nick Matika

    • nikki sharp says:

      Thank you for commenting! and I totally feel you… we have to get back to the roots of what makes us happy. social is an AMAZING tool, but we can get so caught up in what’s next, what’s next, what’s next…. which then takes away the passion! Best of luck to you <3 xoxoxox

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